The more I awaken the more possibilities I see before me. There is a freedom in this, but there is also the problem of having too many options. This is why I feel I’ve suddenly become more deeply spiritual and have been seeking a connection to a higher plane of existence. I cannot navigate this vast matrix of opportunity without a little support from my guides.
The more my possibilities open up, the more I realize I have to confront my fears. With each fear that I tackle I bring myself closer to my Truth. As I allow my heart and throat chakras to connect more fully I find myself speaking up and speaking out. I find myself being more creative and exploring parts of myself that I have kept hidden or neglected through the years. I am embracing my responsibility as a co-creator of reality. I am becoming more aware of my own power to create change.
BUT…in order to change I have to embrace shift in my own consciousness… A raise in my vibrational frequency… An increase in my intuitive abilities. These sometimes scare the crap outta me and I become afraid. Then, I start to think about every hero story I’ve ever heard. I ask myself what would Durga do? Or what would Mathias mouse do? The little mouse in Red Wall picks up the sword and faces Cluny the Scourge! I am that is! I can be like Mathias! I will stand up for what I believe in. I will I will take a chance on ME! I’m too aware not to move forward, so now I’ve got to be brave…
As I investigate where I have been and where I am, I start to understand where I want to be. Better yet, I start to visualize who I want to become. The gap in between those two planes of existence sometimes feels immense and terrifying. It goes something like this…
“What if I can’t make it?”
“What if I fall?”
“This is so scary!”
“I can’t do it!”
“But I don’t want to be here anymore!”
“And I definitely can’t go back there.”
“Well, I can’t just stand here forever!”
“Dammit! I have to jump!”
“Fuck it, here we go….”
Suddenly, I’m flying through the air like Mario when he’s just ate a mushroom and found a star! Zoom!
Midway through the air I’m all like…
Then, when I land and I feel that immense feeling of success, that knowing that I made the right choice and that it was all worth it, I’m all like…
I always want to be changing, because I love living. I love my life and I’m thankful for it everyday.
I have to constantly remind myself, or affirm, these feelings of positivity, joy and love. If I do not, my Ego will take control and fear, doubt, guilt and shame will win and I will stop growing. I will stagnate, run out of steam, shrivel up, and die.
No thank you! That is not my story! I choose growth! Therefore, I will make decisions that support my Truth and allow me to be a truer version of my Self. I will learn listen to my guides and give daily thanks to the Universe for giving me the opportunity to enact a story in this physical plane.
And for those of you who are struggling like me, remember this…
Let your light shine and you’ll lead the way for those who are still fumbling in the dark.