I had a tough day yesterday. What did that look like, you ask? Well mostly a lot of crying and feeling sorry for myself. You see, I had a rendezvous with an individual to whom I frequently give the power to make me feel bad (let’s call this person M). M can push my buttons and put me over the edge in a matter of moments unlike anyone else. In fact, M is the only person I have negative interactions with in general right now. Normally I am calm, happy, compassionate and positive, but M has a way of bringing out my insecurities so that I feel backed into a corner where I experience a range of negative emotions: frustration, hurt, resentment and even anger. How is it that one person can have such a profound effect on me? What am I doing to cause this?
Yesterday’s Full Moon in Virgo encouraged me to address these issues head on, and release myself from some of my burdens and bad habits. I know that the Full Moon is a great time to make room for new activities and ways of thinking, but first I must be willing to clear out what’s not working for me.
My frequent encounters with M have taught me a lot about myself. Here’s the list I came up with last night while reflecting in the energy of the Full Moon:
– I care too much about what other people think of me
– I work too hard to please others/make them happy
– I take negativity too personally
– I need to ground myself and breathe more
I went to bed feeling drained. All the crying and worrying had depleted my “hope tank” to almost empty. By the time I fell asleep though I could feel hope reserves recharging. The thought “this too shall pass” helped me feel better. I woke up around 4:00 am with the pregnant lady urge to empty my bladder and fill my tummy. I went to the refrigerator looking for a snack and realized the chorus to the song “Take the Power Back” by Rage Against the Machine was playing on repeat in my mind. It made me smile and at that moment I resolved to write this post. It is time to take the power back. No one should have the power to make me feel anything I don’t want to feel…and I most certainly don’t want to feel the way I did yesterday – gloomy, sad, hurt, angry…blah blah blah. I’m over it!
I did do some things right yesterday and I’d like to share what helped me begin the process of rebuilding my positive energy. First, I removed myself from the situation. A nice long walk with my dogs on a blustery afternoon was the first step in clearing my mind and my energy field. I then called my Grandpa, because he always makes me feel really good about myself. When I came home I took a nice long bubble bath to warm and relax my body, and while I soaked I listened to Abraham Hicks (see examples below!).
The hardest part was trying not to focus on what was bothering me. Every time I thought about M I could feel myself slip back into a negative place. I thought about what I would have/could have/should have said or done differently. I fantasized about what I would say next and even ways to hurt M in retaliation for the pain I was feeling. None of these strategies made me feel better, but I could feel how the momentum of the negativity was pulling me further and further away from where I really wanted to be.
Where do I want to be? I want to be in alignment with my higher Self. I want to be the best version of me. I want to feel proud of my choices because they are based on the principles I believe in, namely: love, hope, compassion, joy and ease. Any thoughts or actions that don’t align with those values need to be released or re-evaluated. That’s where Abraham really helps me. The following videos are really helpful. They helped me soothe the negative feelings and bridge the gap between where I was and where I wanted to be.
The idea isn’t to change myself so that M, or anyone, will like me more. I want to get over my need for other people to like me all the time. The idea is to change myself so that I will like me more and so that I won’t have encounters with people who make me feel bad. Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. If I’m attracting negativity I must be emitting some of my own. When a person shows up and reflects this negativity I should say “thank you for making me aware of my own negativity” and then immediately begin shifting my vibration so that I don’t have to deal with that person or that negative energy anymore. This is easier said than done, but I have faith in my own ability to handle these situation better in the future.
It helps to think of emotions as indicators or warning signs. Emotions let us know how we are doing. If I feel bad, angry, resentful, hurt, upset, etc…then I am not in alignment, I’m not wielding my creative power with intention and awareness. If I feel “bad” then I know I need to shift so that I can get back into alignment and start feeling “good” again. Nothing in my environment has to change, just the way I think about my situation.
I want to be able to encounter a negative person and remain happy and free and positive. Instead of judging their behaviors as “negative” I would like to feel amused, intrigued, curious or at the very least neutral. I believe I am the way to healing myself and working through these issues. I believe I can overcome my sensitivity to the energy of others. I don’t have to take things personally and I can remain in the Vortex, happy, at ease and balance for as long as I please.
Do any of you have similar barriers that you are working through? If so,what are you doing to heal and grow? I’d love to hear from you!
Here is one more helpful resource I wanted to share it’s called: 7 Simple Ways to Deal with Negative People. It is especially valuable for dealing with negative people in the workplace.
Thank you for reading and commenting. And remember…