This piece came to me after beginning the quest to become seriously honest with myself about my own suffering. For several months, I’ve felt a growing restlessness with periods of intense dissatisfaction and impatience. Although I religiously practice gratitude, energetically and emotionally, I’ve felt completely dissipated. Behind every thing that I put importance on in my life (my job as a massage therapist, parenting, my relationship, my friendships) there’s this tremendous pressure pushing on me. I think about the things that I value and right up there with personal responsibility, steadfastness and diligence is peace of mind, playfulness, and humility. It occurred to me that the focus I have place on the former group of values has obviously impeded upon the latter group. This recognition has hurled up some turmoil, as I turn an equitable eye inward to tame my passion for progression in mercy of stillness and the beautiful space of acceptance. I’m still working on it, but I’m at least beginning to understand why it’s worth all the effort. This is for all you soul seeking, spiritual warriors out there.
Dictionary.com defines transparency as: having the property of transmitting rays of light through its substance so that bodies situated beyond or behind can be distinctly seen. It seems we are living in a time of growing transparency. Behind this seemingly fixed reality, new eyes are rapidly awakening, heeding the potential beyond such limited perception. Individuals are willing and even compelled to follow their hearts, dreams, and intuitions at the sacrifice of culturally imposed cloaks of security. Many brave souls are out there experiencing the intimate discomforts that come along with a growing spirit. And they are not only doing this for themselves, they are doing this for the higher good of humanity as they feel a desire to share this growth. When we tap into the part of ourselves that links our solitary voyage with rest of humanity, the emotional and psychological muck that we encounter cannot be avoided. Feelings of weakness, inadequacy, shame, guilt, embarrassment, fear, and obscurity arise as we begin to honor that utterance inside of ourselves that calls forth our worthiness. We shine a light on ourselves that brings attention to the things that need to be transformed. We self absorb so that we may rise through such drudgery of the spirit with understanding eyes and hearts.
Healers, counselors, mentors, coaches, teachers and other individuals who are in the position to open up a space for others to go inward may find their jobs at this time very challenging. This challenge is also extended to every individual as they engage mindfully in everyday human interaction. We open up space for others by opening up space for ourselves. We make a difference by accepting, not judging; by listening, not imposing; by being a light in the world not a keeper of darkness. Healing happens when the transparency of the ego is peered through by eyes of light and people are seen for who they are. There is a gentleness that yields to our enduring desires, carving away at their tenacious edges until we see what lies beneath.
Take it from the Tao Te Ching:
“Under heaven nothing is more soft and yielding than water.
Yet for attacking the solid and strong, nothing is better;
It has no equal.
The weak can overcome the strong;
The supple can overcome the stiff;
Under heaven everyone knows this,
Yet no one puts it into practice.
Therefore the sage says:
He who takes upon himself the humiliation of the people is fit to rule them.
He who takes upon himself the country’s disasters deserves to be king of the universe.
The truth often sounds paradoxical.”