Today I have been thinking about renewal. The New Year invites us to color her fresh face with a new pallet…to choose our hues carefully as this is our chance to break free from our anchors and deny the schism between who we are and who we really want to be. Well I’ve decided to set new years’ rosy little cheeks aside for the day and fast forward a bit.
As I contemplate renewal, I realize it is something I want Every. Single. Day. When I have a head cold, work an eleven hour day, pick up my daughter from dance, come home to scarf down dinner, persuade a six year old to do homework and get ready for bed, I am no longer thinking about how I need to exercise more or meditate more or get more sleep. I am thinking that I need to give myself a break. I am thinking that what I need is to wake up tomorrow when I have to do it all over again, feeling good about it, embracing it because it is my life. The life that I am creating for myself every day. The life that is my responsibility to rein in when it goes astray.
Most of us are not self inflicting sadists. We don’t want to work too hard, get stressed out or do things that we know are unhealthy for us, but sometimes Life gets the better of us and we wind up zoned out on the couch with an empty bag of potato chips spoon deep in a Ben and Jerry’s ice cream tub. The most that we can do is our best. And sometimes our best is wiping the chunky monkey off our chin and hauling our exhausted selves to bed and sleeping it off until the blessed EVERY DAY rising sun brings us a new morning. I know the New Year represents this on a grander scale, but sometimes The New Year really just seems like a glorified Monday after a long work week and a weekend of obligations.
What if we just choose to be nicer to ourselves…every day. To listen to our bodies better…every day. To nourish our souls…every day. What if what we really want is not to start over in our lives but to like ourselves for who we are. To trust ourselves to give ourselves what we need and desire.
Don’t get me wrong, wanting to improve yourself is fantastic; its just that sometimes what I crave more than anything is to accept myself for who I am all of the time… even on days of scandalous couch binges in the middle of March as I realize its been three months since New Years and I maybe haven’t made the progress I would like to see in myself. As the seasons change and the tides turn, as that brightly colored new years mask fades, remember to love yourself even when you aren’t exercising or eating healthy or being a perfect enlightened being.